How to make Ellis’ Amazing Lemon Stir-Fry:

Lena:

1. Grab your Spanish-English dictionary
2. Go to the market and buy zucchini, an impulse-buy red bell pepper, onion, and a lemon to season the fish.  
3. Then go to the fish section and get creeped out by all the zombie crustaceans and nearly choke on the aroma of decaying marine animals.  Decide to try fish another time.
4. Once home, begin cooking the rice and start the stir-fry vegetables, onions first because they take longer.  Pretend to have a dramatic moment because the onions make you cry and you never get tired of that joke.
5. Mention to Ellis that you forgot to look for seasonings and the food is going to be really plain.

Ellis:

1. Suggest putting some lemon juice in it, since we still have that lemon anyway.

Lena:  

     6.  Agree that that sounds interesting

Ellis: 

     2.  Cut open the lemon and vigorously juice BOTH halves into the vegetables, including lemon seeds, aka “flavor packets”

Lena:

     7.  Remove food from heat and serve.

Yield:  3 servings of the weirdest tasting food ever.  For best results, serve with the remaining crust of a baguette that Ellis mutilated, a white wine nobody likes and that doesn’t go with the meal at all, and a random coconut cake that is surprisingly tasty compared to everything else.